Weekly Weigh-In Disaster

Well, it probably isn't a disaster, but it feels like it to me.

I weighed in today at the exact same weight as last week.  I was heart broken.  I had worked as hard as I could to eat as clean and healthy as I could and the scale refused to budge.  I can't blame it on my cycle or stress, or even lack of sleep since I slept well last night.  I don't want to think "oh, well at least I didn't gain" because that wasn't my goal.  I worked for my goal and failed.

I think this week, even with my husband in town, I need to start fresh.  Tracking everything religiously.  Keeping consistent and honest.

Actually, having my husband in town will help with that.  He watches what I eat like a hawk.  Sometimes, and I know he doesn't do this, but in my head he does, I feel like he is judging everything I put in my mouth.  That for each bite I'm taking, he doesn't understand why I'm eating it.  His judgement and misunderstanding over how my body doesn't like going 4-5 hours without water or food is an example to me, in my head.

Now, his actions aren't controlling in any way.  He never says a single word about what I eat or when I eat in a negative light.  He honestly is trying to support me.  But with never having struggled with his weight and having a completely normal relationship with food, he doesn't understand my struggle at all.  Because of that, I know that I can't count on him to truly be able to support me.  It isn't that he doesn't want to, it is that he doesn't know how to.  Our numerous conversations have attested to that.

So this morning, when he was up with me and saw my sadness after I weighed myself, as much as he was trying to help, asking what he could do etc.  All I could think in my head is "great, now he is going to be watching everything I eat even more."  I know it is all in my head.  I know it is me and not him, but part of me is so frustrated with it.  Why oh why did I have to marry a husband with a completely normal relationship to food AND a super fast metabolism so he can eat whatever he wants, when he wants????  ARRGGGHHH.

But I'll get through this plateau.  There is only one way that scale it going to move and that is down.  And the only way that is going to happen is by me being consistent.  And that is what I'm going to do.  I've gotten my frustration out (thank you all for listening) and now I am only going to go forward.  That is the only thing to do.  I am going to try really hard to not let my mind wrap around the whole notion that fat girls shouldn't eat and starving myself.  I'm going to focus on eating right, not stressing and constantly reminding myself that healthy habits = healthy bodies at any weight.

Stupid freaking weigh-in this morning.

What I was reading last week...

I'm a little late posting this (darn husband!) but better late than never to share some interesting stuff you may not have seen yet!


Are you a responder or non-responder:
Does Exercise Make You Overeat?
I'm pretty sure I'm a responder :(

Maybe it is time to bring back something our Grandparents did to cut out all the processed food:
Canning for a New Generation

I may have wanted to be a thinner bride, but I never would have done this:

What Would You do as a Bride?

How about you?

   

While this is a great story, and the kid is smart and awesome, it makes me sad that in this day and age, the kids have to teach his parents about nutrition. 

A Child puts Himself on a Diet

I'm not at all saying it is the parent's fault, but society has evolved to a place where obesity is the norm for so many reasons!

Why always reassessing your goals and letting go of the unrealistic ones is good for you:
Redefining Life Goals can Foster Better Health
So no more unhealthy, unattainable, 50 lbs in 3 months type goals! OK?

Thought provoking since as much as we want to see "real" women in modelling and advertising, does our subconscious?

Do We Really Want See Real Women

I may have low self-esteem, but I refuse to let what other people think of me prevent me from reaching my goals!
Most Women Shy Away from Outdoor Exercise
(or at least I hope I have enough self-esteem to do that.)

Exercise is not only good for our appearance and health, but our minds as well:

What Kind of Exercise Benefits your Brain Most

I swear this is happening in shoes.  I used to wear a size 9 / EU 40.  Now I am in most size 8 / 38.  WTF?
I can wear a smaller pant size now! Or can I?

Use it or Lose it

To prove I'm an uber-geek.  I WANT!
http://bigbigpixel.com/

Stop saying "I'll do that when I'm skinny" for things you can probably do now, but just don't know it!
It is Time to get on with your Big Audacious Life

And now to prove how much I love baking and cute stuff, I want to make these now:
Cinco De Mayo Pinata Cookies

More reasons to get those berries in!
Berries may Reduce Mental Decline in Older Women

More reasons to stay active:
Daily Activity Tied to Lower Alzheimers Risk

How many of us experience poor eating when we're tired or running on empty?
Good Night Sleep Contributes to Healthy Eating


And now I need to go brush up on proper capitalization in titles and links.  Well... tonight when I finish work!

Happy Reading! 

Remember to Eat Regularly

With my husband in town it is very difficult to get things done - including blogging, exercise and food prep. Oh, and laundry! As typical in most long distance relationships, when you do see each other, you try to cram everything in a few short days. Add in the fact the sheer amount of friends and family that want to see him, I feel, 3 days in, that I'm already running on empty.

Today I nearly was sick at the Superstore.  We were out late, up early, and had been on the go the whole time.  My husband is that rare creature who doesn't have to eat much to go ~ he'll have breakfast and then be good until dinner.  On the other hand, if I don't eat on a regular basis, my stomach revolts, I get light headed and feel exhausted.  So this afternoon at Superstore we were picking up the rest of the stuff we need for a BBQ we are hosting tonight.  I was feeling ill, light headed, and my stomach was on revolt.  I didn't know which end it was going to come out of!  My husband didn't understand.  He was all like "but you had eggs for breakfast, how can you be hungry".  Never mind that breakfast was 5 hours ago and we hadn't had anything to eat or drink since then.  I was a prime example of why you need to eat properly, regular;y , and always have water and healthy snacks on you or in the car!  We ended up stopping for "lunch" at Fresh Slice pizza where I was able to grab a single slice of pizza for lunch since I refused to do greasy fast food or overpriced deli food.

I don't think I've mentioned how much I heart Fresh Slice.  If you don't have them near you...  *sigh.*  They have really good single slice pizza made with a thin whole wheat crust.  It isn't greasy at all, as in, after sitting on a napkin for 5 minutes, no grease was left on it!  It also is light on the cheese and sauce, but heavy on the vegetables.  For $1.79 a slice and being right across from the grocery store, it was a life saver!

So we are home now, my husband is napping and I have time to blog!

I went shopping to the States yesterday.  Yes, I am a cross-border shopper on a regular basis.  I live and work in Surrey, a suburb of Vancouver, BC, Canada and live and work within a 20 minute drive of the USA-Canada border.

Now, to dispel a myth, not everything is cheaper in the States.  You have to know your prices.  However, it isn't necessarily the prices that we go down for.  It is the selection!  The sheer amount of variety that is available in the grocery, shoe, and clothing stores is huge.  For a plus size girl I am in heaven.  I can find many more clothes when I am cross border than when I'm at home.  The prices can be a little cheaper, but the selection is huge (to me).

So my friend and I spent 12 hours (including an hour in line at the border railing against those stupid self-absorbed people who try to cheat the border line-up by cutting in from the Nexus line-up or pretending they are Duty Free shoppers) shopping, driving, and having a good time.  I talked her out of the candy apples at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, but indulged in some Pretzel Bites at Auntie Anne's pretzels.  We ate a healthy lunch of grilled chicken salad and made sure we had tons of water to keep us hydrated.

We ended up spending about $550 in total.  Including a $200 Costco trip for healthy chicken breasts.  OMG, have I mentioned how much cheaper chicken and turkey is south of the border?  If boneless skinless chicken breasts go on sale below $4 per pound, it is a huge sale in Vancouver.  However, I can go to Costco and get boneless skinless chicken breasts for $2.50 per pound.  For a fat girl changing her lifestyle that is perfect.  I can stock up on chicken thighs, breasts, and fillets and have no excuses over why I can't cook at home.  Add in the amazing Fibre One Brownies, and I'm in heaven.  I also found fantastic high fibre and protein tortilla wraps and pita buns!

I try to support the Canadian economy by buying most of my items locally in smaller independent stores.  But it isn't easy because the prices are higher and the selection is lower.  So as much as I support locally, I won't feel guilty cross border shopping for better deals 2 or 3 times a year.

As for going across regularly just for gas (I work 15 km from the border) I have zero guilt.  We are charged tax on a tax up here for gas.  Why should I pay $70 to fill up my tank every 2 weeks and still have horrific transit service, or cross the border and pay $40 to fill up my tank?  Then spend that extra $30 donating to local charities and community groups?

OK, I'm rambling.

I'll sign off now and go fix up my "What I'm reading post" since this week has been really interesting on the blogosphere.

Question:  If you could, would you cross border shop?