Come to the Dark Side ..... We have Cupcakes

Resist! Resist!  DON'T come to the dark side.  It isn't a pretty site as we all know.

One of my biggest hobbies / side businesses / relaxation techniques is baking and cake decorating.  I've been doing it since I was little and have become, to toot my own horn, pretty darn good at it!  So when a friend of mine included the Martha Stewart Cupcake book in a care package, a mutual friend and I decided to make a couple of different cupcakes out of the book to send back to her when my husband leaves for Edmonton on Sunday morning.

Cupcakes, cupcake batter, cupcake icing are the devil.  We made a coconut cupcake and a salted caramel chocolate cupcake.  OMG, salted caramel with chocolate cake ~ I had to only let myself have a tiny bite or I would have sat down and eaten it all.  It was a fun evening actually making it all.  I also proved how much willpower I can have when I give myself credit.  Not only did I split one of the coconut cupcakes with both my friend and husband, I also did not have a chocolate caramel one.

My trick/method/whatever you want to call it?  My husband's healthy balanced meal beforehand of a salad with avocado, mango, and grilled chicken and a small side of whole wheat pasta and my homemade turkey meatballs.  After that dinner, I was perfectly satiated and didn't have any of the sugar cravings while baking.  I must remember to eat a balanced meal before baking in the future to help me resist licking the spoon and "taste testing" the finished product.  Who would have thunk it?  lol... most likely everyone other than me!!

Other than that, I did another shopping trip to the States with my husband yesterday morning / afternoon.  He needed jeans, t-shirts, and shorts.  I finally got him into some nice fitting jeans.  He likes his jeans big, baggy, saggy, and light blue ~ they look horrible on him!  So this trip was all about getting proper fitting jeans.  He is an odd size with a skinny waist and long legs, so out of all the stores at the outlet mall, only the True Religion, Lucky, and Levi's fit him properly.  He didn't want to spend over $150 on a single pair of jeans since he is working on bulking up his leg muscles and might size out of them, but splurged on 2 pairs of Lucky Jeans for $100 instead.  They make his ass look fantastic!  My husband may be stick thin, but he has a booty.

My good news from the shopping trip was that I tried on a pair of size 18 jeans at The Gap...and.... they fit!!!  Well, fit as in looked good from the belly button down.  However, I'm weird and different in the fact I like my jeans higher waisted.  I have a very long torso, so I can wear my jean above my belly button without looking like they are touching my boobs (in fact, if I don't, most normal length t-shirts look like mid-riff shirts on me!)  Why am I weird?  Because I like my jeans to hold in my stomach instead of having said stomach hang out above my jeans.  I prefer a smooth silhouette when I wear my shirts instead of rolls.  I just don't have the confidence to rock my rolls like so many girls.  So I didn't buy my Gap Jeans That Fit, but instead will wait until my stomach no longer sticks out further than my boobs before rocking that look!!

Oh.. and in healthier fitness news, I went to my third spin class last night as well! Wohoo!  I burned almost 30% more calories than previous classes.  I really didn't want to go, I was tired from the States trip, I was tired thinking about making the cupcakes afterwards and my legs were bothering me from the Wednesday morning workout and which then made them hurt even more with all the walking and standing while shopping.  But I dragged my sorry butt to the class and actually enjoyed it!  It gave me energy and put me in a good mood to come home to make and resist the cupcakes!  One more class to go...

In even healthier fitness news, my husband and I decided to buy bikes for each other as our one year anniversary gift.  We went to a bike shop when we were across the border yesterday to see which we liked and will be checking out the Vancouver Police bike auction on Saturday morning to see if we can get a good deal.

The downside of this?  The auction preview is this afternoon from 12-6.  For me to make it there and still work my full 8 hours, I had to skip morning bootcamp so I can leave work at 3:30.  With our existing plans to meet with friends and family in the evening, it doesn't look like I'll get a workout in.  As well, the auction is Saturday morning, which means I'll once again miss my circuit class on Saturday morning.  I'm praying that the day leaves me an hour to get my own cardio session in!  Even better for me would be to get a great bike at a great price and go riding on Saturday!

It is always a challenge to get workouts in when your schedule is in flux.  But to keep the healthy habits up, you make it work.  I'm not going to sacrifice sleep, but am not going to make hobbies, like TV or reading, more of a priority.  Balance is key.

So are you sick of my long winded post?  Apparently I had a busy Thursday!


I now have a question for you:
How do you balance exercise and healthy eating when your schedule gets out of whack?


* Since I gave you Tuesday's calorie round-up on Wednesday, here is Wednesday's and Thursday's.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012 (oh so close!!!):

Totals	1,834	213	54	94	29	1,667
Your Daily Goal	1,785	245	59	66	20	2,500
Remaining	-49	32	5	-28	-9	833
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Fiber	Sodium
	*You've earned 425 extra calories from exercise today

Thursday, May 3, 2012 (barely squeaking by!):

Totals	1,577	209	44	82	23	1,730
Your Daily Goal	1,637	225	54	61	19	2,500
Remaining	60	16	10	-21	-4	770
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Fiber	Sodium
	*You've earned 277 extra calories from exercise today

Weekly Weigh-In Disaster

Well, it probably isn't a disaster, but it feels like it to me.

I weighed in today at the exact same weight as last week.  I was heart broken.  I had worked as hard as I could to eat as clean and healthy as I could and the scale refused to budge.  I can't blame it on my cycle or stress, or even lack of sleep since I slept well last night.  I don't want to think "oh, well at least I didn't gain" because that wasn't my goal.  I worked for my goal and failed.

I think this week, even with my husband in town, I need to start fresh.  Tracking everything religiously.  Keeping consistent and honest.

Actually, having my husband in town will help with that.  He watches what I eat like a hawk.  Sometimes, and I know he doesn't do this, but in my head he does, I feel like he is judging everything I put in my mouth.  That for each bite I'm taking, he doesn't understand why I'm eating it.  His judgement and misunderstanding over how my body doesn't like going 4-5 hours without water or food is an example to me, in my head.

Now, his actions aren't controlling in any way.  He never says a single word about what I eat or when I eat in a negative light.  He honestly is trying to support me.  But with never having struggled with his weight and having a completely normal relationship with food, he doesn't understand my struggle at all.  Because of that, I know that I can't count on him to truly be able to support me.  It isn't that he doesn't want to, it is that he doesn't know how to.  Our numerous conversations have attested to that.

So this morning, when he was up with me and saw my sadness after I weighed myself, as much as he was trying to help, asking what he could do etc.  All I could think in my head is "great, now he is going to be watching everything I eat even more."  I know it is all in my head.  I know it is me and not him, but part of me is so frustrated with it.  Why oh why did I have to marry a husband with a completely normal relationship to food AND a super fast metabolism so he can eat whatever he wants, when he wants????  ARRGGGHHH.

But I'll get through this plateau.  There is only one way that scale it going to move and that is down.  And the only way that is going to happen is by me being consistent.  And that is what I'm going to do.  I've gotten my frustration out (thank you all for listening) and now I am only going to go forward.  That is the only thing to do.  I am going to try really hard to not let my mind wrap around the whole notion that fat girls shouldn't eat and starving myself.  I'm going to focus on eating right, not stressing and constantly reminding myself that healthy habits = healthy bodies at any weight.

Stupid freaking weigh-in this morning.

Goal Check-in Week 2

Last week's goals:

 

Weight Goal:  

Lose 2 lbs. - FAIL.  weight loss was 0. 

Non-Scale Health / Fitness Goal: 

Burn a total of 3500 calories this week ~ that averages to 500 a day and if I keep my workout schedule I should be able to do this. - FAIL.  Adding in the 1000 calories from Friday and nothing on Saturday and Sunday, I only reached approximately 2700 calories.

Personal Goal: 

Finish cleaning / organising the house so when the hubby comes home we can enjoy non-housework stuff. - SUCCESS.  The house was ready when he arrived and we didn't have any stress about it over the weekend!

This week's goals:

 

Weight Goal:

Lose 2 lbs.

Non-Scale Health / Fitness Goal:

Workout for a total of 6 hours this week and track everything I eat.

Personal Goal :

Find and organise all the papers necessary for the Realtor.

What I'm Reading

I've ramped up my reading of blogs and other sites lately trying to keep my motivation.


Here is what has struck a chord with me in the last week:

And She Ran
A blog I just started following ~ this particular blog post reminded me of me.  How I've used my excess fat as an excuse as to why no on likes me.  But it isn't my fat, it is me!  I shut myself off from the world using my fat.

There's a reason hamsters dont have six packs
Another blog new to me ~ I liked the advice in this one about mixing up the workouts, something I'm trying hard to do!

2 posts from Skinny Emmie:

• Accepting the Struggle A great read on why the struggle and the journey are just as important as the final destination.
• Weight Loss Ninja Although not explicitly a motivational post, to me, since I also struggle to overcome the feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, it was.  It is necessary to remind myself that the definition of failure can change and even the best laid plans go sideways but that the final goal is always there even if the path to reach it may change. 

Day 2
Another blog new to me that I came across looking for people's experience with skin removal surgery.  When checking out blogs, I almost had a panic attack since I know once I reach my weight loss goal, I will have plenty of excess skin to be removed.  It scares the shit out of me.  The wonderful blogger at Diary of a Former Food Addict just went through surgery for her arms and legs and I'm really looking forward to watching the progress.

Don't just sit around
I came across this when reading the Sweat Science blog at Runner's World.
I sit all day long, and this is a perfect reminder to move on a regular basis.  I find the study quite intriguing as it goes to show that obesity is a very complex issue.

Paying the Price of a Fat Pet
"The problem in pets mirrors that in overweight humans, often stemming from lack of exercise and too many snacks and calorie-dense foods – or, in this case, treats and table scraps – between meals."

So true!  I'm lucky my dog is hyper active and maintains his weight  perfectly.  I only wish my doctor would tell me that "You have a nice figure" like the vet told Haru!

Deprived
A reminder that you shouldn't feel deprived for the whole weight loss journey

Healthy Habits Make Healthy Fatties

A reminder that the number on the scale doesn't mean much in regards to health and morbidity!