Come to the Dark Side ..... We have Cupcakes

Resist! Resist!  DON'T come to the dark side.  It isn't a pretty site as we all know.

One of my biggest hobbies / side businesses / relaxation techniques is baking and cake decorating.  I've been doing it since I was little and have become, to toot my own horn, pretty darn good at it!  So when a friend of mine included the Martha Stewart Cupcake book in a care package, a mutual friend and I decided to make a couple of different cupcakes out of the book to send back to her when my husband leaves for Edmonton on Sunday morning.

Cupcakes, cupcake batter, cupcake icing are the devil.  We made a coconut cupcake and a salted caramel chocolate cupcake.  OMG, salted caramel with chocolate cake ~ I had to only let myself have a tiny bite or I would have sat down and eaten it all.  It was a fun evening actually making it all.  I also proved how much willpower I can have when I give myself credit.  Not only did I split one of the coconut cupcakes with both my friend and husband, I also did not have a chocolate caramel one.

My trick/method/whatever you want to call it?  My husband's healthy balanced meal beforehand of a salad with avocado, mango, and grilled chicken and a small side of whole wheat pasta and my homemade turkey meatballs.  After that dinner, I was perfectly satiated and didn't have any of the sugar cravings while baking.  I must remember to eat a balanced meal before baking in the future to help me resist licking the spoon and "taste testing" the finished product.  Who would have thunk it?  lol... most likely everyone other than me!!

Other than that, I did another shopping trip to the States with my husband yesterday morning / afternoon.  He needed jeans, t-shirts, and shorts.  I finally got him into some nice fitting jeans.  He likes his jeans big, baggy, saggy, and light blue ~ they look horrible on him!  So this trip was all about getting proper fitting jeans.  He is an odd size with a skinny waist and long legs, so out of all the stores at the outlet mall, only the True Religion, Lucky, and Levi's fit him properly.  He didn't want to spend over $150 on a single pair of jeans since he is working on bulking up his leg muscles and might size out of them, but splurged on 2 pairs of Lucky Jeans for $100 instead.  They make his ass look fantastic!  My husband may be stick thin, but he has a booty.

My good news from the shopping trip was that I tried on a pair of size 18 jeans at The Gap...and.... they fit!!!  Well, fit as in looked good from the belly button down.  However, I'm weird and different in the fact I like my jeans higher waisted.  I have a very long torso, so I can wear my jean above my belly button without looking like they are touching my boobs (in fact, if I don't, most normal length t-shirts look like mid-riff shirts on me!)  Why am I weird?  Because I like my jeans to hold in my stomach instead of having said stomach hang out above my jeans.  I prefer a smooth silhouette when I wear my shirts instead of rolls.  I just don't have the confidence to rock my rolls like so many girls.  So I didn't buy my Gap Jeans That Fit, but instead will wait until my stomach no longer sticks out further than my boobs before rocking that look!!

Oh.. and in healthier fitness news, I went to my third spin class last night as well! Wohoo!  I burned almost 30% more calories than previous classes.  I really didn't want to go, I was tired from the States trip, I was tired thinking about making the cupcakes afterwards and my legs were bothering me from the Wednesday morning workout and which then made them hurt even more with all the walking and standing while shopping.  But I dragged my sorry butt to the class and actually enjoyed it!  It gave me energy and put me in a good mood to come home to make and resist the cupcakes!  One more class to go...

In even healthier fitness news, my husband and I decided to buy bikes for each other as our one year anniversary gift.  We went to a bike shop when we were across the border yesterday to see which we liked and will be checking out the Vancouver Police bike auction on Saturday morning to see if we can get a good deal.

The downside of this?  The auction preview is this afternoon from 12-6.  For me to make it there and still work my full 8 hours, I had to skip morning bootcamp so I can leave work at 3:30.  With our existing plans to meet with friends and family in the evening, it doesn't look like I'll get a workout in.  As well, the auction is Saturday morning, which means I'll once again miss my circuit class on Saturday morning.  I'm praying that the day leaves me an hour to get my own cardio session in!  Even better for me would be to get a great bike at a great price and go riding on Saturday!

It is always a challenge to get workouts in when your schedule is in flux.  But to keep the healthy habits up, you make it work.  I'm not going to sacrifice sleep, but am not going to make hobbies, like TV or reading, more of a priority.  Balance is key.

So are you sick of my long winded post?  Apparently I had a busy Thursday!


I now have a question for you:
How do you balance exercise and healthy eating when your schedule gets out of whack?


* Since I gave you Tuesday's calorie round-up on Wednesday, here is Wednesday's and Thursday's.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012 (oh so close!!!):

Totals	1,834	213	54	94	29	1,667
Your Daily Goal	1,785	245	59	66	20	2,500
Remaining	-49	32	5	-28	-9	833
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Fiber	Sodium
	*You've earned 425 extra calories from exercise today

Thursday, May 3, 2012 (barely squeaking by!):

Totals	1,577	209	44	82	23	1,730
Your Daily Goal	1,637	225	54	61	19	2,500
Remaining	60	16	10	-21	-4	770
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Fiber	Sodium
	*You've earned 277 extra calories from exercise today

Weekly Weigh-In Disaster

Well, it probably isn't a disaster, but it feels like it to me.

I weighed in today at the exact same weight as last week.  I was heart broken.  I had worked as hard as I could to eat as clean and healthy as I could and the scale refused to budge.  I can't blame it on my cycle or stress, or even lack of sleep since I slept well last night.  I don't want to think "oh, well at least I didn't gain" because that wasn't my goal.  I worked for my goal and failed.

I think this week, even with my husband in town, I need to start fresh.  Tracking everything religiously.  Keeping consistent and honest.

Actually, having my husband in town will help with that.  He watches what I eat like a hawk.  Sometimes, and I know he doesn't do this, but in my head he does, I feel like he is judging everything I put in my mouth.  That for each bite I'm taking, he doesn't understand why I'm eating it.  His judgement and misunderstanding over how my body doesn't like going 4-5 hours without water or food is an example to me, in my head.

Now, his actions aren't controlling in any way.  He never says a single word about what I eat or when I eat in a negative light.  He honestly is trying to support me.  But with never having struggled with his weight and having a completely normal relationship with food, he doesn't understand my struggle at all.  Because of that, I know that I can't count on him to truly be able to support me.  It isn't that he doesn't want to, it is that he doesn't know how to.  Our numerous conversations have attested to that.

So this morning, when he was up with me and saw my sadness after I weighed myself, as much as he was trying to help, asking what he could do etc.  All I could think in my head is "great, now he is going to be watching everything I eat even more."  I know it is all in my head.  I know it is me and not him, but part of me is so frustrated with it.  Why oh why did I have to marry a husband with a completely normal relationship to food AND a super fast metabolism so he can eat whatever he wants, when he wants????  ARRGGGHHH.

But I'll get through this plateau.  There is only one way that scale it going to move and that is down.  And the only way that is going to happen is by me being consistent.  And that is what I'm going to do.  I've gotten my frustration out (thank you all for listening) and now I am only going to go forward.  That is the only thing to do.  I am going to try really hard to not let my mind wrap around the whole notion that fat girls shouldn't eat and starving myself.  I'm going to focus on eating right, not stressing and constantly reminding myself that healthy habits = healthy bodies at any weight.

Stupid freaking weigh-in this morning.

What I was reading last week...

I'm a little late posting this (darn husband!) but better late than never to share some interesting stuff you may not have seen yet!


Are you a responder or non-responder:
Does Exercise Make You Overeat?
I'm pretty sure I'm a responder :(

Maybe it is time to bring back something our Grandparents did to cut out all the processed food:
Canning for a New Generation

I may have wanted to be a thinner bride, but I never would have done this:

What Would You do as a Bride?

How about you?

   

While this is a great story, and the kid is smart and awesome, it makes me sad that in this day and age, the kids have to teach his parents about nutrition. 

A Child puts Himself on a Diet

I'm not at all saying it is the parent's fault, but society has evolved to a place where obesity is the norm for so many reasons!

Why always reassessing your goals and letting go of the unrealistic ones is good for you:
Redefining Life Goals can Foster Better Health
So no more unhealthy, unattainable, 50 lbs in 3 months type goals! OK?

Thought provoking since as much as we want to see "real" women in modelling and advertising, does our subconscious?

Do We Really Want See Real Women

I may have low self-esteem, but I refuse to let what other people think of me prevent me from reaching my goals!
Most Women Shy Away from Outdoor Exercise
(or at least I hope I have enough self-esteem to do that.)

Exercise is not only good for our appearance and health, but our minds as well:

What Kind of Exercise Benefits your Brain Most

I swear this is happening in shoes.  I used to wear a size 9 / EU 40.  Now I am in most size 8 / 38.  WTF?
I can wear a smaller pant size now! Or can I?

Use it or Lose it

To prove I'm an uber-geek.  I WANT!
http://bigbigpixel.com/

Stop saying "I'll do that when I'm skinny" for things you can probably do now, but just don't know it!
It is Time to get on with your Big Audacious Life

And now to prove how much I love baking and cute stuff, I want to make these now:
Cinco De Mayo Pinata Cookies

More reasons to get those berries in!
Berries may Reduce Mental Decline in Older Women

More reasons to stay active:
Daily Activity Tied to Lower Alzheimers Risk

How many of us experience poor eating when we're tired or running on empty?
Good Night Sleep Contributes to Healthy Eating


And now I need to go brush up on proper capitalization in titles and links.  Well... tonight when I finish work!

Happy Reading! 

Oops, I did it again....

That would be not get out of bed in time to do the 7 am bootcamp.  *sigh*  I sometimes think that if the classes weren't free, even if there was just a $5 charge, I'd be more likely to go!

 Now just to make me (and hopefully others) smile:

photo credit

That poor dog... so scary, yet so so funny.  My husband refuses to let me do anything fun to our white dog's hair!  We're afraid to cut it since the part of this tail fur he burned off in a campfire hasn't grown back (No, we did not torture I dog.  He backed into a campfire while trying to jump into a chair ~ he has a long tail and part of the fire caught a flame - he wasn't hurt, more concerned over why everyone was yelling at him!)

And in other disappointing news, my tenants just gave notice for the end of May.  This gives me 5 weeks to sell my condo or else end up further in debt.  We only rented it out and moved since we couldn't afford to keep living there after being hit with a huge leaky condo levy.  They introduced new bylaws last year where if your tenant moves out, you move back to the bottom of the rental wait list.  In our strata we are only allowed 7 rental units at a time and those spots are all taken and I know there are at least 4 - 5 people on the wait list.  So now I have to sell.  It is about a year before I was planning to do it and throws everything into a loop.  Change means stress to me.  Stress means my body goes into conservation mode and makes it nearly impossible for me to lose weight.  This means I'm going to have to be extra vigilant in my workouts and eating.  Man, I'm nauseous just thinking about it; heart is racing, mind is racing, beginning to sweat ~ yup the stress has started. 

That means that this:

wed afternoon individual cardio session

isn't going to cut it anymore.

I've never been so happy in my life that my husband is coming home.  I need that support right now.  Heck, we have 2 condos to sell so I might as well get used to it!

Well, on the positive side, it will accomplish one more item on my 101 things to do list.

Now... where was I?

Oh... yeah, the not waking up in the morning.  I think I'm going to leave that challenge for another day. 

Monday Blahs

Monday afternoon bootcamp

So I was a very bad girl this morning and skipped morning bootcamp.  I woke up at 6:00 am and then let the negative side of me come through.  My back was bothering me and the thought of an intense cardio and core circuit just wasn't appealing.  I know we need to keep the numbers up to keep the class from being cancelled, but I had slept poorly and just wanted 2 more hours of sleep.

I ended up getting out of bed at 8:10 am.  *sigh*

I did however go to afternoon bootcamp and burned my 478 calories!  My shins were bothering me like mad so I was happy with the result.  We had the new trainer again and he totally cracks me up ~ he repeats all of his motivational sayings at least twice.  It both annoys me and makes me laugh at the same time:  "Come guys keep it up, keep it up" or "Let's get moving, let's get moving" in a monotone voice.  He is a good trainer I think, just young and inexperienced.  He'll get his trainer legs soon!

I weighed in this morning at 239.4, so I'm still below 240 for the 3rd week in a row which means I can update the very first item on my 101 things to to in 1001 days page to be complete!   I am stoked.  However, it also means I probably would have lost serious weight last week if I could have kept the chocolate and Reese Puff's cereal addition monster under control.  I did well until Saturday night, Sunday morning where I just grazed on everything including way too much chocolate, the semi-baked cake, and 3 massive bowls of cereal.

I'm trying to get back on track with food by planning all my meals and having them all laid out.  I batched cooked the protein / veggie portion for 8 meals (M-Th) and then will allow myself a cheat meal on Friday since I have my personal training session that day.  My husband also arrives back in town Friday night so I'm super excited about that!  I have him for a week before he goes back for his summer class.  We'll probably end up going out for sushi Friday night.  Since I eat mainly the sashimi with a side of edaname, I should be good for food.  Just to control that boredom eating and then I'll be set.

What tricks do people employ to avoid the boredom eating?  I try to keep myself busy at home and if I had more of a social life and more friends I can see myself going out more.  But I seriously heart me some TV and tend to want to graze on food while watching.  I don't buy most of the junk food, but anything can be overeaten ~ including the "healthy" stuff.  Too much fruit isn't a good thing and too many veggies make my tummy unhappy.

I've decided to make myself some goals this week to keep my focus:

Weight Goal: Lose 2 lbs.
Non-Scale Health / Fitness Goal: Burn a total of 3500 calories this week ~ that averages to 500 a day and if I keep my workout schedule I should be able to do this.
Personal Goal: Finish cleaning / organising the house so when the hubby comes home we can enjoy non-housework stuff. 

Question: What are your goals for this week?

Plateaus, how I hate you!

mathampson

I think my trainer took pity on me this morning.  He witnessed my attempt at a spin class last night and probably inferred that I was quite sore.  With one look from me, I was excused from having to run the stairs thousands of times with the boys.  Sure, I could have probably done it, only slowing them down a little, but my body was grateful I was just willing to shuffle/jog in the gym instead.  The squats were bad enough.

It is rare when these trainers actually care that you are sore.  They definitely appear to be of the philosophy that even when you're sore, you just keep moving.  I think it is the high-calibre athletes in them.  However, for this regular, fat, plain Jane, when I'm sore, it is hard to move.  When I'm really sore, that soreness doesn't go away once I warm up.  I get into the mindset that hey, at least I'm there.

Even though the trainer went easy on me today, I think I am going to take tomorrow off from a strenuous workout.  My muscles are complaining, my stomach still isn't happy (I haven't felt hungry since last Thursday and I haven't been eating enough to give me that sensation) and I just feel really tired even though I'm having trouble sleeping.  I want a day to come home and take the dog for a nice walk in the sun and where when I come back from that walk, my knees don't cry when I go up the stairs.

I'm also conscious of this post that Lisa Eirene at 110pounds.com wrote.  I've struggled with plateauing and eating poorly as part of a result of the frustration of the plateaus for the last 2 months.  It is one of the reason's I started to blog.   Almost everything on that list, applies to the plateaus I've suffered, and I really don't want to fall into the trap again.

I don't want to over-train, yet I want to keep a consistent exercise routine.  I'm not tracking my food, but I also feel like I'm not eating enough since I'm just not hungry right now.   I also know with my increased fitness level, my body is  more efficient, so I'm trying to mix up my exercises, but I'm having a hard time pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  I'm also eating out more than normal since I haven't had a chance to go grocery shopping since I've been home.  

I really don't want to undo my weight loss from the last weekend.  However, I know if I don't track my food better, buy some fruit and vegetables, and avoid the leftover Easter chocolate, that this plateau will turn into a weight gain, which will lead me down a dark spiral of despair.

So, with all this, I know I'm not really making a point, but I want to confirm to myself that I am only going to take 1 day off from training.  NOT from eating healthy.

I'm giving myself permission because I want to be healthy, not just skinny.  I'm letting myself know that by mixing it up a little and not stressing over not working out, it isn't going to prevent me from busting out of that plateau.  I'm going to start tracking my food, working out regularly, but not too much, keep pushing past my comfort zone and watch the eating out.

Plateaus, how I hate you!